Life shows up on the big screen of reality as a complex dance of darkness and light. The story of this dance has been told throughout the ages. It is the story of creation. It tells how the polar partnership of Mother-Father brought forth the worlds of form and populated them with life. Both partners are essential to this birthing process and, without their mutual interplay, light and dark would remain invisible and unintelligible, and manifestation would be stymied. I see each of us as a continuation of this original story. We are the latest cast of characters in this ongoing full-length feature. As actors, our challenge is to understand the story, learn our lines and make sense of the drama. The patterns projected onto the screen are the light and the shadows of our own deepest aspirations and inner struggles. The task before us is to find the key which will unlock the secrets of these patterns and show us how to live a life full of meaning and passion.

Let me at the outset explain my particular worldview so that as you read this article you may appreciate where I am coming from. I do not profess to know the whole truth. The thoughts I am presenting simply constitute what I currently hold to be true about life: they are possibilities. I believe that life is an awesome mystery imbued with inherent meaning and purpose. As far as my limited faculties can perceive, manifested creation, such as appears on this planet, is some grand scheme in which the Creator can intentionally touch herself/himself and bring the eternal dreams and ideals into a fully realized moment of self-knowing. I am reminded of my years of farming when I witnessed the magical relationship between seeds, soil and the elements. The light-filled dreams of the Creator are like seed-ideas that need to be planted within the dark soil of time and space and carefully nourished so they may grow and unfold the truth and beauty hidden inside. Growth is always from the inside out. In a similar fashion I believe that each of us carries within our hearts and souls a seed of identity: our unique gift to creation and the reason for our existence. I subscribe to the notion that "energy follows thought," and therefore every desire which is focused and projected through the lens of our minds is alive and charged with a destiny. These magnetic ideas are compelled to manifest the indwelling desire and so with each thought, we set in motion whole new worlds of creation. Not only are we the actors in the story of life, we are also the co-writers. This journey through darkness and into light with its attendant shadows is an alchemical process in which the dross and darkness of personality impurities can be placed in the fiery crucible of daily life and eventually transformed into the gold of a radiant Soul. In my more irreverent moments I call this "the journey from the gonad to the Monad."

If, according to various spiritual and religious texts, light was born out of the darkness, then in a corresponding fashion the shadows in my personal life may be the womb out of which the light of self-realization can emerge. So what is the nature of the shadow and how can I embrace it as a positive force? I am reminded of a guided imagery experience in which I was asked to see myself in a cool, dark room holding a desire to be outside in the light and warmth of the sun. Through visualizing a series of steps I finally made it outside. To take full advantage. I removed my clothes and lay down: feeling the nourishing rays on my skin. I became the sun-bather. After a while it began to dawn on me that only half of my body was touched by the light-the other half was in shade. No matter how I oriented myself, this dualistic state persisted. It was a strangely unsettling experience but the insight I received was that if, in my quest for enlightenment, I continue to seek light solely from the outside then I will always cast a shadow. The only way to avoid this is to generate light from the inside. If light radiates from an inner center and is neither obstructed nor distorted by patterns of personality, then the core Identity is revealed and no shadow is cast. Paradoxically, it is the darkness which is the womb of light and our shadow which is the bearer of this light. With this in mind, I realized that the journey ahead is for the sun-bather to eventually become the sun. The alignment being sought is one of soul to personality so that every thought, word and deed can in time express an inner truth without blemish or impediment.

In a microcosmic sense I see myself as a creator-an apprentice sun-bather seeking to become the sun. During times of doubt and despair on this quest I have periodically called out to the Earth and to the Heavens to be made whole and to be given inner knowing and peace. I have waited with great expectancy, hoping that one day my troubles would be dissolved by the light and love of some divine dispensation: an act of grace that did not require too much effort on my part. However, what invariably comes knocking on my door as a result of these supplications is not always what I have in mind. Instead of light and clarity, I am given that which appears to be greater darkness and confusion. I am brought face to face with my shadow. However, if instead of being blinded by self-pity, I could have read the label on this shadowy package, I would have seen the clue and known that this was possibly a blessing in disguise. The label read, "You asked for wholeness and so here are all the aspects of your life that need healing-the darkness hides their true light!" I am gradually getting the message that with the power to create comes responsibility for that creation. If every thought, feeling and ensuing action originating from inside us carries our own stamp of identity, then responsibility rests with us. What we give birth to can never be disowned: even if we do not care for what we have created. The creative thoughtforms are alive and magnetically attractive. They gather to themselves elements of mental, emotional and physical matter that clothe and give visibility to the original desire that sent them on their way. They have a power and a life of their own and show up as our patterns of thinking and behaving. Living in time and space allows us to grow and reveal the inner seed sequentially and so each developmental stage, although complete unto itself, is still only a partial expression of our total identity in the larger scheme. Our present patterns are shadows compared to the light of the promise of who we truly are.

In my mind, the shadow represents the sum-total of all the yet-to-be-realized aspects of my personal world. It is what stands on the threshold between me in my current reality and the state of oneness I so deeply desire. When I first confronted this shadow my reaction was to see this dark figure as the harbinger of evil and a messenger of death for my ego. By not accepting responsibility for what I had created, I saw the shadow as external to myself. It was easy to convince myself that I was under attack by malevolent forces. By dramatization and projection, I tricked myself into becoming a victim. The symptoms of outer attack and the crises of inner transformation are difficult to discern and distinguish between. I still find it a great temptation to blame something or someone else for my situation. Jungian analyst Edward Whitmont described the shadow as the archetypal experience of the "other fellow," who in his strangeness is always suspect. It is the ever-present need in human history to find the scapegoat. How many times have you and I participated in group efforts and said to ourselves, "If only that person were not here, things would go more smoothly." It may be that this person is reflecting back to us aspects of our own self that we are not comfortable with or have not yet owned. Every time I refuse to accept the shadow as my own creation and responsibility, I merely relegate its energy to the unconscious, from where it can exert its power in a negative and compulsive way. Jung even cautioned us that patterns not resolved within us must eventually externalize themselves and become our fate.

With a little more courage and curiosity I would most likely have gone beyond the initial fear instilled in me by the shadow and discovered that I was standing in the presence of all the unloved and unaccepted parts of myself. I would have realized that I had called them forth with my cry for wholeness. I may not like or wish to acknowledge everything that I have done in my life but if wholeness is what I want, then these banished aspects must be invited home. The shadow, like the prodigal son of my own making, when it finally comes knocking on the door, needs to be embraced and welcomed home by the father-mother of my higher self. In fact, I believe that this father-mother-child relationship is the triune aspect of my true nature: the inner spiritual family. Wholeness does not come from throwing away the parts of ourselves we do not like. It comes from accepting ourselves and seeing the shadow as containing all future wisdom, in the same way a child carries the seeds of its own maturity. I see a strong correlation between the shadow and the subpersonalities of psychosynthesis. For me, the subpersonalities are the children of my creation who need to be matured in order to reveal the essential gift that lives in their innermost heart. I know in my life that there are deep patterns that seem to be held in place by the gravitational pull of fear, ignorance and insecurity and, like satellites circling a celestial body, do not have sufficient escape velocity. The challenge is how to be the wise parent to my own children while at the same time being the child who is learning to grow up by acting out the stages leading from child to wise adult.

The language and images which I have been using here to describe my relationship to the shadow are not ones which I would necessarily use in working with my clients. These somewhat arcane concepts need to be translated into more robust and industrial-strength models if they are to be of practical use in the business arena. As an organization development consultant I work with clients who, having declared that they are stuck in their thinking and their practices, feel they could benefit from a fresh perspective. I help them to see for themselves some new ways of working together and doing business. Basically, the work is still that of addressing the shadow although I do not name it so. My observation of working groups has been that any pattern of behavior which is primarily focused on interpersonal rivalry, defensiveness or closed-mindedness, tends to lower and hold in place the ceiling level of creative possibilities. As long as the group is living in its own shadow, the members cannot access the power and creativity which is their birthright. When I work with a group that is locked into patterns such as these, my approach is to access the causal level of the issue by focusing on their language. I listen carefully to how they are "speaking themselves." Each shadow aspect or group subpersonality has its own self-talk: a way of describing itself and declaring its position in the world. What we hold to be true about ourselves and the world solidifies into a set of beliefs. Whether we call them mental models or operating assumptions, these beliefs crystalize into patterns of behavior, policies and organizational structures. These are the living thoughtforms that animate all constructs, be they mental, emotional or physical. Transforming the patterns requires change at a deep level of belief-anything less is merely cosmetic.

I have used role play to allow the shadow aspects to be observed and addressed in client groups. One example comes from my work with a team of aerospace engineers who were very clear about why it was not possible to solve a particular problem because company politics and bureaucracy stood in the way. This was my approach: I invited them to listen to President Kennedy's historical challenge: the "impossible dream" of putting a person on the moon by the end of the decade. I then asked them to imagine their response as NASA engineers and come up with all the reasons why this was the craziest request in the world and why it would never get off the ground. After five minutes of animated conversation I requested that they switch and now respond to the President's challenge as if this were the most exciting thing that had ever happened to them. Finally, this was to be a project which would release their creative energy and spiritual juices. Following five more minutes of intense role-playing, we de-briefed and compared not only the differences in language between the two conversations but also the emotions and body-energetics. The differences were startling. With these distinctions understood. I then brought them back to their reality as aerospace engineers, inviting them to re-enact the discussion that occurred when they were first faced with the task that was currently causing them so much heartache. I heard the voices of the doubter, the victim and the cynic proclaim the myriad reasons why this would never work. The energy in the room was rather low and oppressive. The final part of this intervention was to invite the engineers to get in touch with their professional pride and passion and step up to the challenge of the real business task facing them. I encouraged them to generate possibilities for success and find excitement in the task. The atmosphere in the room shifted and solutions were now the order of the day. They had broken free, if only for that session, from the confines of the domain of historical self-talk which knows why things will not work. They had moved into the domain of possibilities: the place of potential and where one can access "what you don't know you don't know." For a few hours, the shadow had dispersed to reveal a different kind of group working relationship. Their concern was how to maintain this. My coaching to them was that they should continue to observe the language and self-talk in the group and whenever it began to sound like a limiting pattern speaking, they could make the shift by choosing to speak themselves differently. There are other intervention techniques that are effective in working with the shadow but I chose this example as it shows how something comparable to a subpersonality dialogue at a group level can help move things forward.

There is another dimension to working with the shadow that involves us all as citizens of this planet. I am referring to the task of facing and transforming the world shadow. Let me explain what I mean by this. I believe that we humans stand at a crucial stage in our evolution. It is the first spiritual crisis that we have consciously faced together in our long history. In the same way as each individual soul is seeking to find fulfillment, I believe that the soul of humanity as a living, purposeful entity is also seeking wholeness. The disturbing and alarming patterns of behavior that show up as oppression and greed in all parts of the world are the shadow side of our human nature. They appear to be coming to a head. Fundamentalist thinking would call it Armageddon or Judgment Day. I believe it is the world shadow that has been called forth by the invocative cry from the heart of humanity for something better and more meaningful. If we are to reach a collective wholeness, then we must address all that stands in the way. Over the centuries we have created situations that are less than loving and enlightened, and now we are being asked to take responsibility for them. The chickens are finally coming home to roost. We are passing through a shadow of our own making. I am not preaching doom and gloom. I am saying that this is our big test in the school of life: soul-personality alignment on a global scale. The question is whether we have the courage and skills needed to redeem the shadow and work through the patterns blocking the true light of the human spirit. Can we think beyond ourselves as a species and appreciate that we are part of a still larger system of life? This is planetary psychosynthesis in action. If we view the various nations and cultures as subpersonalities of the world soul, then we know that buried at the heart of each of these expressions is a beauty and a gift. However, the healing of the nations begins with the healing of the person. Fear and ignorance has us living in the shadow and yet, if each person takes responsibility to release the light locked up in their own shadow and reaches out to others, the world shadow will gradually diminish. I believe that this is our collective task. Easier said than done, but do we believe, despite the darkness and turmoil of this time, that we have the strength and wisdom to play our parts successfully? I would hope that our response to each other is, "Yes, without a shadow of a doubt."

Michael Lindfield is a senior organization development consultant with a major U.S. aerospace company where he provides innovative methods for large-scale change of the business and people systems. He was a 14-year resident of the Findhorn Foundation, an international community in northern Scotland seeking ways of living and working together based on spiritual principles. Michael is the author of The Dance of Change (published by Penguin). He first encountered psychosynthesis in the 1960s through meetings with Roberto Assagioli who kindly helped him discover the lighter side of the shadow.