"Pregnant I stand, on the brink of becoming the seed I have been carrying," was an affirmation in which Harry Sloan immersed himself as he brilliantly guided dedicated students in the traditional principles and practices of psychosynthesis as taught by Roberto Assagioli. Concurrently, he introduced unique, creative processes of his own to inspire experiences of "soul-filled aliveness." Those processes enlivened the rich legacy that Assagioli gave to the West and have been passed on to younger generations in limitless ways. The vitality of Harry's gift as a therapist grew increasingly bright as he continued to teach, while all too quickly approaching his death. For more than twenty years since his death, that same group of students has gathered together annually to reaffirm, practice, and deepen those very processes he developed and taught us from 1985 to 1988.

Harry Sloan was a brilliant light, a gifted psychosynthesis therapist, and a teacher who occasionally embodied the mythic quality of the "trickster"! His unique humor and "out-of-the-box" approaches attracted a diverse group of men and women from a broad range of professions who initially bonded together at Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California, in 1985 and 1986 during two month-long psychosynthesis trainings. This group regularly attended trainings together with Harry, most often at Esalen, throughout the last two and a half years of his life. In the midst of identification and disidentification exercises and the inevitable delving into our own psyche, we sadly grew to accept his cancer diagnosis and treatment, witnessed a "true love" between him and Elizabeth Scott, and held his dying process as best we could. We were awed by the brilliant depth of his teaching and process work, which we witnessed and experienced right up to his death at forty-seven from cancer in April 1988. That final period of his life was infused and informed by his brightest inspirations and darkest challenges.

Somewhere between completing dentistry school in New York and becoming an early resident fellow at Esalen Institute in 1970 to 1971, Harry became a master of both individual and group work. This gift seemed to flow freely out of him and nourish him at the same time. Through his undeniable intuitive skill, empathic presence, and emotional intelligence, he would make "bulls-eye" associations which would then evoke and deepen our insights and understanding as students. But it was the expansive heart-full spirit he embodied that captured us so completely. He was, by far, the funniest man known to his dear friends and students! Off or on morphine for pain as his cancer grew, Harry could walk with a person right into the bleak recesses of deeply held grief, and within a few moments of an insight, restore that individual-and any observers- to the joyful release of laughter that no one could stop. He brought many a "grown man" to his knees through gentle love. As Jerry Dincin, PhD, describes: "He opened my heart, taught me permanently about love, beauty, relationship, and emotional truth at my deepest level." Even Roberto would be awed by Harry's immense capacity to help heal lifetimes of separation spontaneously, through his hilarious humor.

A singular force in Harry's trainings was his dedication to self-knowledge and empowerment-reminding us over and over that the "leader is within," always. Harry was immensely concerned with avoiding what he called "the tyranny of powerlessness" in the presence of charismatic leaders. For those who knew him personally or were part of the psychosynthesis community in the mid to late 1970s, the roots of this determination were well understood to be a direct result of his experiences at the Institute in San Francisco while it was influenced by Jim Vargiu. Harry's feelings about that period of his professional life were close to the surface, and he was not the only person of this era to take up a cause with such vehemence. In the end, though, it may have kept Harry less than whole. We sensed a fear of his own charisma reflected in a hesitation to embrace the fullness of his own light, and also his guardedness in the face of the genuine love of clients and students. My personal perspective through twenty-five years as a psychosynthesis student and guide is that some of our brightest, wisest, and most influential teachers within the psychosynthesis community in the United States have shared these tendencies, which could be something of a loss to us. However, the gifts that emerged out of the suffering and healing of the San Francisco community have far transcended any regret for me. Rather, I remain truly grateful. I am a fortunate beneficiary of an invaluable learning that others digested and passed on to me, and hopefully, I to others.

Like many, Harry transformed the core principles of psychosynthesis into his own unique expression, taking full ownership of the theory and infusing it with insightful wisdom, deep love, and profound humor. He tirelessly coaxed us to "stretch in all dimensions to develop our inner discrimination of what is right and true for our self, and to come more deeply into relation with our true Self." He said, "The tyranny of therapy is to keep you continually dependent upon the therapist." And he commanded: "Be the director of your own orchestra-this is the exercising of your will." He had the best collection of insightful, funny cartoons I have ever seen, and they provided the foundational piece to his teaching about subpersonalities. He taught us to tolerate, even welcome, "two antithetical thoughts or feelings in the same moment without creating closure," thus helping us learn how to tolerate dissonance-as a practice. He struggled to do the same as his health and body deteriorated and his insight soared. He continuously reminded us that "energy follows thought" and that our attitudes and beliefs will determine our perceptions and awareness, -which then drive our behaviors. The best thing I have yet learned about systems theory came from his consistently demonstrating within the therapeutic context that health and healing unfold when we "keep an open system." He recreated thoughtful exercises that helped us recognize our self as the source of our experience and helped us overcome our fear of making mistakes.

Harry also drew from the ancient Indian text, the Baghavad Gita, as both a personal source of inspiration and a resource for teaching the principles of guiding. From here he brought the concept of renunciation into the field of therapy. He trained us to "stay with" and trust what is, avoiding the trap of needing to have an effect on and for the client. In other words, we were to work in service of the client's truth "without being attached to the fruits of our labors." He also integrated another perennial teaching from the Gita: "Better to do one's own dharma imperfectly than another man's (dharma) perfectly." For me, these were signature teachings that continue to deepen my own spiritual life as well as my work with others. And finally, the exercise we were forced to explore more fully than we wished: "What is the effect when the leader is on vacation?"

Our group remains "in circle" and gathers once a year now. We are told that we are the only group known to Esalen to continue meeting on a regular basis after the leader has left the room-permanently. We marked our twentieth anniversary of meeting together, since Harry's death, in 2008. Two independent retreat centers were spawned as manifestations of the inspiration and commitment we individually accessed in ourselves through our work together. Richard Racette, DDS, established the Riverview Retreat in Wichita, Kansas in 1988, and it continues as a community gathering place and offers trainings and retreats.

I founded The Growing Edge in Big Sur, California in 1993, which, through 2005, provided residential retreat and training programs. As a nonprofit organization, it still continues to provide services and supports community-based rural healthcare in Nepal. Every individual in our group has found meaningful ways to express his or her self in the world and to serve others by drawing on the wisdom of psychosynthesis, our own inspiration, and our experiences in our training with Harry. Each of us has been profoundly influenced and inspired by other brilliant teachers, past and present. Nevertheless, there was something exceptional and transcendent about this particular coming together of souls.

The group is smaller and older now. It continues to serve its own dharma-imperfectly, but with love. I think Harry practiced what he taught, and in gratitude, we have, too. And he threw in some amazing card tricks along the way! He never finished the book he wanted to write nor did he become famous, except to those who knew him. But our lives, and those we have touched in large and small ways, have become richer and dearer because he and the principles he loved and taught inspired and guided us. He became a remarkable channel for the perennial wisdom embedded in psychosynthesis by being fully himself. Thank you Harry (and all the others) for tending the growth and evolution of our collective human spirit!

Kay Brownfield began training in psychosynthesis in 1983 at the Toronto Center with John and Ann Weiser. She has endeavored to deepen her practice and study for twenty-five years and has taught psychosynthesis in a wide variety of contexts-with immense gratitude for her primary teachers: the Weisers, Tom Yeomans, Angeles Arrien, Stan Grof, and Harry Sloan. She founded The Growing Edge, a 501(c)(3) California nonprofit, in 1993, continues as director, maintains a private counseling practice in Monterey, California, and lives and works in community at Mount Madonna Center, Watsonville, California. Email: kay@growingedge.org